Embracing the Nordic Approach: Lessons from Denmark on Raising Resilient, Happy Children

When Becca and Jordan Itkowitz moved back to the United States from Denmark with their two sons, Evan and Max, they were in for a rude awakening. The cultural differences in how children were raised and educated in the two countries were stark, leading the family to experience a profound sense of culture shock.

Unlocking the Secrets of Scandinavian Parenting

Prioritizing Play and Outdoor Exploration

In Denmark, children are given an extraordinary amount of freedom and autonomy, even at a young age. Kindergarteners are encouraged to play in the rain, cook over fires, and take calculated risks, all under the watchful eye of their caregivers. This stark contrast to the helicopter parenting and academic pressure often seen in the United States left the Itkowitz family feeling bewildered.Becca Itkowitz recounted the incidents where her son Max was chastised for throwing a snowball and picking up a stick, actions that were considered normal and acceptable in Denmark but were frowned upon in the American school system. This experience highlighted the vastly different approaches to childhood development in the two countries.

Embracing the "Viking Way" of Raising Children

According to British journalist Helen Russell, who currently resides in Denmark with her family, the Nordic nations have much to teach the rest of the world when it comes to raising happy, resilient children. Russell's book, "The Danish Secret to Happy Kids," explores the unique parenting styles of these neighboring countries, which stand in stark contrast to the high-pressure, achievement-oriented approach often seen in the United States and the United Kingdom.One of the key differences is the emphasis on play and outdoor exploration. In Denmark, children are not expected to start formal schooling until the age of 6 (or 7 in Finland), and there is a strong emphasis on learning through play. Russell notes that "play is so valued" in these countries, and the research supporting the importance of play-based learning is widely celebrated.

Embracing the Elements: No Such Thing as Bad Weather

Another striking aspect of the Nordic approach to parenting is the attitude towards inclement weather. As Russell explains, there is an old adage in Denmark that "there's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes." This mindset encourages children to embrace the outdoors, regardless of the weather conditions, as a means of developing physical and emotional resilience.Russell shares that in her experience, children in the United States and the United Kingdom are often kept indoors when it rains, a stark contrast to the Danish approach. In Denmark, children are "chucked out no matter what," fostering a sense of adventure and a connection to the natural world.

Fostering Confidence and Resilience Through Risk-Taking

The Nordic approach to parenting also acknowledges the importance of allowing children to take calculated risks and experience minor injuries, such as scrapes and broken limbs, as a means of building confidence and resilience. Russell notes that this laissez-faire attitude is made possible by the availability of universal healthcare, which ensures that a broken arm is not a financial burden.This mindset stands in contrast to the risk-averse culture often seen in the United States and the United Kingdom, where parents may be overly protective of their children's safety. In Denmark, there is a belief that by allowing children to engage in adventurous, risky play, they are better equipped to develop the confidence and resilience needed to navigate the challenges of life.

Redefining Academic Expectations

The Nordic approach to education also differs significantly from the American system. In Denmark, children do not receive homework until around the age of 11, and there are no standardized tests until the age of 16. The focus is on fostering a love of learning, rather than on academic achievement and performance.Sean McEvoy, who lived in Denmark for seven years with his family, observed this firsthand. He noted that when he would ask his children what they had learned at school, they would often respond by showing him the stones, dead bugs, and other natural objects they had discovered, rather than reciting academic lessons. This approach, McEvoy explains, is rooted in the belief that children need to develop a genuine passion for learning before they can be expected to excel in more rigorous academic pursuits.The Nordic approach to education emphasizes the importance of allowing children to explore and discover at their own pace, rather than pushing them to meet predetermined academic milestones. This philosophy, according to McEvoy, helps to prevent burnout and ensures that children maintain a positive attitude towards learning throughout their educational journey.